When God Says No to Your Prayer |04.26.26| Is That In the Bible? pt.3

It’s kind of hard to admit to you as a pastor: sometimes I don’t pray as much as I know I should. And I’m not talking about saying prayers before meals, or praying at our life group or something like that.

I’m talking about the fact that there have been times that I prayed for something, and I heard NOTHING back. And so then over the course of doing that enough times, it starts to erode my desire to pray.

Because if you’ve been praying for something, and you hear nothing, or it seems like the answer is “no,” then it starts to give you doubt that you’ll ever hear a yes.

You start to wonder: “did God not show up? Or does he just not show up for ME?”

That question is exactly where the Apostle Paul lived for a season, and what he discovered changes everything about how we understand God’s silence.

Because all of us have experienced what it’s like to not receive the answer to prayer that we hoped for. All of us have wondered if that meant that we didn’t pray right, or if that meant God just didn’t want to pay attention to us.

And when all we hear in response to our prayers is silence, we start to wonder if we are truly alone. We start to wonder if God is waiting for us to do something to fix ourselves before he answers our prayers.

That’s why we needed the reminder two weeks ago that Jesus’ love isn’t limited by our past. Jesus goes out to reach people that think they are too broken, or too messy, or too far gone… he crosses barriers to get to us to show us he loves us.

And last week, Mike reminded us that real healing and transformation doesn’t come from some special prayer, or special place, or special system of religion. Jesus is the source of the real transformation and healing that we need.

But today, we’re going to ask: what happens when we turn to Jesus… and the answer is “no”? What happens when the suffering we are experiencing stays?

And we’re going to ask that question while we watch this clip from the show, The Chosen. Now, to give some context, this clip is going to pick up right after Jesus has been doing incredible miracles and teaching people about the kingdom of God, and he’s gathered his 12 disciples, and he is sending them out in teams of two to go to the villages and towns around the area ahead of him, and preach about the kingdom of God. And he says that he is giving them authority to drive out demons and to heal the sick. Incredible, right?

And this clip is going to show us a conversation where one of Jesus’ disciples, named James, is a little conflicted about that proclamation. And it’s because James has a disability: he walks with a limp and experiences pain every day of his life. Let’s watch this together…

[VIDEO]

“Little James and Jesus” FLC_TheChosen_ITITB_wk3_EpisodeClip.mp4

[intro]

Now, I actually really appreciate the show, The Chosen, because it brings these characters to life in a way that helps us connect with them. But we never want depictions of Jesus to replace our study of the Bible. We want go from the screen to Scripture, so we’ve got to ask, “Is that in the Bible?”

And today, the answer is “no.” This scene is not found anywhere in the Bible. It’s a completely original bit of dialogue writing from the director of the show, because he wanted to deal with the theme of unanswered prayer.

And part of that has to do with the actor who plays Little James. His name is Jordan Walker Ross, and he has a disability in his real life: scoliosis and cerebral palsy, which causes him to walk with a limp and experience pain every day of his life.

And the existence of ongoing suffering like that forces the question: Why does God allow some people to experience that, and why does he answer prayers for healing for others?

[Scripture Ref]

And even though that clip was an original creation, the themes of unanswered prayer and suffering are found in many places in the Bible, so we’re going to look at one together to see what we can learn from the wisdom of God’s Word.

So open your Bibles with me to 2 Corinthians 12 (p142). This comes out of a letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to a group of Jesus followers who lived in the city of Corinth. And this part is his response to some things that have been said about him.

After he helped to start this church, other preachers came through. And over the course of time, some people were trying to become more famous than Paul, and they would talk about his failures and his speaking ability and pretty much push him down in order to make themselves seem better.

And in response, Paul is going to do something different. He’s not going to defend himself by parading out all of his accomplishments. He’s actually going to talk about his sufferings. And he’s going to admit that God hasn’t answered all of his prayers in the ways he would want. And in a culture that measured spiritual credibility by how successful and impressive you were, that was a risky thing to say.

So as we read this together, we want to ask: what happens when we turn to Jesus… and the answer is “no”? What happens when the suffering we are experiencing stays? Let’s RISE for the reading of God’s Word…

[2 Corinthians 12:7-10]

[2 Corinthians 12:7]

Remember, Paul is talking about how God has worked through him to help so many people get to know Jesus, but its been through both his successes AND his failures. And Paul says that God “gave” him a thorn in his flesh in order to keep him depending on God.

And the word that Paul uses, “given”, is a word that refers to generosity… it’s talking about receiving a gift or bestowing a gift.

God GAVE this suffering to Paul, and it had a purpose. The purpose wasn’t just meaningless pain. The purpose wasn’t to punish Paul. In fact, he seems to think that the purpose to keep him from becoming too haughty or prideful about his incredible ministry and life experience with God. So therefore, a “thorn in the flesh” was given to him.

And Paul calls it a “messenger of Satan.” … Some scholars will connect this with other places that Paul talks about messengers of Satan when he’s referring to people who were antagonizers of him or detractors of his work.

So they think that the “thorn in the flesh” that Paul is talking about is the ongoing persecution that Paul is experiencing because of these other teachers who are trying to stop the growth of Jesus’ church.

They are not messengers of truth. They aren’t sent from the Father of Truth. They are messengers of lies, from the father of lies… the deceiver, Satan.

So this suffering that Paul is experiencing apparently is connected to demonic work against God’s mission, but he also realized that God “gave” it, so God must have a purpose for it.

Even though it’s this awful, painful thing in his life, it’s been allowed by God.

Now, we know that Paul didn’t come to that conclusion right away, because he prayed for it to be taken away.

[2 Corinthians 12:8-9]

Three times he prays that the persecution would leave him. And it reminds me of the passage at the end of Luke’s gospel with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus prays three times for the cup of suffering to removed from him.

Now, I don’t think there is necessarily anything magical about praying three times, but it seems that three prayers is what Jesus did to be fully certain that this was the direction that God was leading, and three prayers seems to be what Paul needed to be fully certain that God was not going to remove his persecution.

[2 Corinthians 12:9]

Because, in verse 9, God responds and says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Paul prays that God would remove the “thorn in his flesh”, and God’s answer… isn’t to remove the thorn. God’s answer is that the thorn doesn’t need to be removed in order for God’s power to be displayed.

Because it’s not Paul’s comfort, or triumph, or healing, or overcoming the persecution… that demonstrates God’s power.

In fact, it’s Paul’s weaknesses caused by the thorn in the flesh — it’s Paul’s reliance on the grace of God — that’s what demonstrates God’s power.

Now, don’t mishear me. This isn’t saying that suffering is secretly good. He’s saying that God is sovereign, God is fully in charge. And even when our enemy does something intended for harm, God is actually still fully in charge even over that.

And God says, “My grace is sufficient… it’s ENOUGH for you.” God isn’t saying that his grace WAS sufficient or will be sufficient. God’s grace is sufficient RIGHT NOW, in this current moment of weakness.

He means that his grace is adequate for the need. And God’s grace meets you WHERE YOU ARE… not where you’re hoping to get to.

God’s grace isn’t just giving you the strength you need to ENDURE this awful situation. It’s not just helping you scrape by until life gets better or easier.

God’s grace meets you IN this situation and is still able to bring about God’s glory and God’s purposes in you and through you.

How? Because of God’s power. The word that Paul uses is dunamis, which is where we get the root for the word “dynamite.” God’s power is resurrection-grade dynamic power: the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.

And so when God says that his power is made perfect in weakness, he’s not just talking about having motivational strength, like “keep going, you can do this!” It’s not just the “strength to make it through.”

He’s talking about resurrection power at work through our human weakness and frailty. He’s saying that the same power that defeated death is active in you. It’s active IN your weakness.

And so your weakness, your suffering, your unanswered prayer, your impatience, your unmet expectations, your persecution… isn’t a sign of the ABSENCE of God’s power. Because God’s power is able to work in and even through our weakness.

And so Paul takes that news and says, “Well in THAT case, I’m not going to complain about my weakness any more. I’m going to BOAST in my weakness. Because it points to God’s power!”

Even though it’s still uncomfortable, or even though it’s still unfamiliar, or even though it’s still full of pain… knowing that that’s the path God is leading allows us to gladly and confidently pursue that path… boast in that path.

So Paul says, “I’m boasting all the more gladly about my weakness so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” Because if it’s my weakness that displays my reliance upon God, and therefore displays the power of God, then why would I shy away from my weakness?

Because I want the power of God displayed in me.

V10 “Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, calamities for the sake of Christ. For wherever I am weak…then I am strong.”

[blank]

Because if God's power is at work in our weakness, then that means that God is PRESENT in our weakness and suffering. So that means we are not alone.

Because that’s what we’re truly afraid of when we experience hardships or suffering, right? We’re afraid that we’re alone in it. That’s what we’re afraid of when we pray for something, and God says “no.” We’re afraid that means that God has abandoned us in that situation, right?

And that’s actually what the enemy WANTS us to feel. Because that’s the state of hopelessness and despair that the enemy wants us to stay in. It’s the oldest strategy: isolation. Get the sheep alone. And then get them to doubt.

“If you REALLY were God’s son… If God REALLY loved you… if you REALLY were worth showing up for…”

That’s exactly what the serpent did in the garden: make Adam and Eve doubt that God wanted the best for them. “No, he’s hiding things from you.”

That’s exactly what the tempter did to Jesus in the desert, right AFTER the Father declared his identity and worth at his baptism. Do you remember that story? Jesus comes up out of the water, and the heavens tear open, and a voice from heaven says, “This is my son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Jesus’ identity: son. And Jesus’ approval. BEFORE he had done anything to earn those. And then he’s met by the deceiver in the desert, and the first thing out of Satan’s mouth is, “IF you are the son of God… then you should do this to PROVE it.”

Because if you can’t do that, maybe you’re not God’s beloved son. Maybe you ARE alone in this situation. Maybe that proves that God doesn’t care about you…

And so when we pray, and the answer is “no,” and the suffering stays, and nothing changes… we start to believe the lie: “God didn’t show up. God never shows up for ME. I’m on my own to figure this out, to earn this, to understand this well enough so that I can get God to move.”

Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you’ve stopped praying for that thing because it felt pointless.

Maybe you’re feeling angry at God, but you also feel like being angry means you can’t talk to him. You’ve gotta fix your anger first.

Maybe you’ve gone quiet in your relationship with God, because the silence felt like rejection.

That’s what the enemy does. That’s what the tempter does. That’s what the LIAR does… because if he can disconnect us from our heavenly father… if he can isolate us from the flock…

That’s how a wolf will attack a sheep: get it alone. Make sure it won’t cry for help.

But that’s also why Jesus tells us the good shepherd leaves the 99 to go and reach the lost One. Because the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The good shepherd reaches out to pursue, to seek, and to find the lost One to bring it home rejoicing.

[Says no]

And that’s what Paul discovered: When God says “no” to removing your suffering, he’s saying “yes” to staying with you in it.

The “no” isn’t absence. It’s a different kind of presence.

My toddler, Lucy, has been going through a sleep-regression, where she never wants to go to sleep. When she was sleeping in a crib, there were nights when that crib felt like a prison, and she’d grab hold of the bars and cry out for me.

She wants to be up. She wants to play. So she cries out for me with her babbling, as if she’s saying, “please let me stay up. Please let me stay out there where all the excitement is happening. I want to stay up with my brother and sister. I want to stay up with mom and dad.”

But, of course, the answer is “no.” Because I know what she really needs is sleep and rest. But sometimes, my answer of ‘no’ comes in the form of me going into her room and just sitting in the rocking chair next to her crib. I’m not giving her what she’s asking for, but I’m giving her my presence.

One time, she had been sick, and I so I actually slept on the twin mattress next to the crib. And she was crying out to get out of that crib, and my answer was “no, you can’t get out of the crib.” But I gave her that answer by drawing close to her with my presence.

I was in the room with her. And every time she cried in the night, I was right there: “no, no, no. Just lay down. I’m still right here with you.”

And there were other times when I gave her the answer “no” by standing at the door and telling her to lay down, and then shutting the door.

But I was still present, right outside the door in the living room where I could hear her. She thought that if she cried hard enough, she might get what she wanted. But my answer was still no, because I knew what she needed.

And it’s the same with God. Even when he says “no” to removing our suffering, he’s saying “yes” to staying with us in it.

Sometimes, God changes your circumstances. He heals, he restores, he rescues… he answers your prayer in the way you hope. And that’s a miracle.

But sometimes, God gives you his grace in the MIDDLE of unchanged circumstances. He sustains you, sits with you, teaches you to trust him… even in the dark.

That’s also a miracle. And sometimes, it’s the deeper one.

[this week]

But I know that the way you are feeling right now… it might not feel miraculous. Some of you listening to me right now are carrying anger.

Some of you are burdened with major doubt.

Some of you are feeling exhaustion, or grief, or just numbness.

Some of you are disappointed in God and life and the way things have happened.

All of that is allowed. The psalms model all of the emotions we can have and still bring to God. Paul models feeling all of those things. Jesus himself modelled feeling all of that, and even asking for God to change the plan right at the end in the garden of Gethsemane. And he heard a “no, we’re still going forward to the cross.”

That’s why you can tell God how you really feel. You don’t have to clean up your emotions before you come to God. You don’t have to get your theology straight first. You don’t have to make yourself “feel better” before you come to God in prayer.

Just turn towards him. Tell him how you really feel. Whatever it is, he can handle it. And when you do, even if nothing changes immediately, here’s what I want you to know:

Turning to God is never a waste. His Word promises that he draws NEAR the brokenhearted. He inclines his ear when we call.

[END]

Those aren’t feelings. Those are PROMISES. Even when we “feel” alone, our feelings don’t tell us whether God is near. His Word tells us.

Jesus himself promises at the end of the gospel of Matthew that he will never leave us or forsake us. “But lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Turning to God is never a waste. But turning to ANYTHING ELSE… takes life AWAY from us.

But turning to God GIVES LIFE to us.

God gives to us and gives to us and gives to us. Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace.

You are not alone in your suffering. You are not alone in your unanswered prayer. You are not alone in your anger, or your doubt, or your exhaustion, or your grief.

Because Jesus is the good shepherd, who leaves the 99 to reach the lost One. He lays down his life for you. He crosses over every barrier to get to you, to draw near to you, and to stay present with you.

Isn’t that good news?