From Willpower to God’s Power|04.06.25|Made For More pt.10

Two weeks ago, I won some cadbury mini-eggs when Pastor Bill gave us all a Bible test. Part of me felt like I shouldn’t answer, but the other part of me REALLY wanted those eggs!

Because a cadbury mini egg is a little piece of heaven on earth. It’s chocolate, it’s got a pleasant shape. It’s got a sweet fondant center.

And the mini-ones disappear in one bite!

And of course, it was a little package of a dozen of them, so you KNOW it took a lot of self-control not to just eat them all right away and then have chocolate all over my face as I’m saying goodbye to people after the service!

Self-control is something that I’ve always struggled with. Especially when it comes to food. Because when you find something good, then more of it must be more good! And more of it NOW must be even MORE good quicker!

But according to our theme verse these past few months, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It’s one of the things that grows in our lives as we submit to God working in us and through us.

It’s one of the things God made us for. Because we were made for more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God actually WANTS to grow those things in your life because he wants to GIVE those things THROUGH you to the people around you.

As we grow, God uses that to bless others. And that includes self-control. But self-control can be hard sometimes, especially if there is something good right in front of us.

In 1970, a Stanford University professor, Walter Mishel, ran an experiment called the Marshmallow Test, where kids would be left alone with something they wanted, and told that if they waited, they would get an additional treat.

So these kids were left alone with a single marshmallow. If they waited, and didn’t eat it, they would get a second marshmallow at the end of 15 minutes.

I wonder how you think you would have fared when you were a young kid? Let’s see this video of how some other kids did…

[>>>VIDEO: MARSHMALLOW<<<]

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Kids aren’t the only ones who struggle with self-control, but for adults, it usually looks a little different.

Maybe the way you struggle with self-control is in your Netflix binging. “Just one more episode” turns into staying up waaaay too late and feeling exhausted the next day.

Or maybe it’s Amazon one-click buying. You know you have a problem with online shopping when a box gets delivered and you’re not actually sure what’s inside…

Maybe your struggle is with credit card debt. Swipe now, pay later. Worry later. Because we want the thing right now, but we don’t want the discipline of saving for the thing first!

Maybe your struggle with self-control is with your emotions. You’re much more prone to REACT instead of respond. It’s snapping at your spouse, or the kids, or your coworkers because you’re not taking the time to process and connect with your feelings and needs.

Maybe it’s doomscrolling on your phone or social media addiction? You MEANT to just check one notification, but next thing you know a whole hour is gone.

Maybe it’s struggling with spiritual disciplines, and you find yourself not praying regularly or not reading scripture. We know we SHOULD, but distractions win the battle too frequently, and we wonder why God feels distant…

But why is it so hard to say no to these distractions, to these habits, to these things that pull us in a direction we don’t want?

Why do we give in, even when we KNOW it isn’t good for us?

Here’s the problem: if you’re struggling with self-control, the question is…what is actually controlling you? If it’s not yourself…something else is controlling you.

And Scripture shows us that in our new life, as we follow Jesus, as we learn to be led by the Spirit of God, our new life has an enemy. Because God wants to grow things in us…there is an enemy to that way of life, that growth.

The enemy of our Spirit-led life is the flesh. Here’s how Paul describes it in Galatians…

[Gal 5:16-17]

This is what comes RIGHT BEFORE our fruit of the Spirit passage. “Live by the Spirit…and do not gratify the desires of the flesh…” This can also be translated, “don’t be controlled by your sinful nature, or your selfish desires, or your sinful cravings.”

Paul is saying that you’re either being led by the Spirit and growing the fruit of the Spirit…or you’re being controlled by your desires.

There isn’t really any neutral ground.

And we can see this when we think back to the last few times we reacted to life. Think back to the last time you snapped at someone…

Or the last time you over-ate because you were stressed…

Or the last time you got sucked into a screen for too long…

Was that Spirit-led or flesh-led? What fruit did it produce?

Because Galatians makes it clear what the fruit, what the outcomes of the flesh are…

[Gal 5:19-21]

“Sexual immorality, lust, idolatry, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfish ambition, envy, drunkeness, and the list goes on…”

Paul tells us these are from the sinful NATURE. These are the “natural” reactions. Self-control ISN’T natural. It doesn’t come naturally, from our own power.

So if Self-control isn’t natural for us, what’s the solution? Try harder? Grit your teeth and hope for the best?

[2 Cor 5:17] nlt

Many of you know the theme verse for our church is 2 Cor 5:17, “anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

This is all about the fact that because of Jesus, our old life is gone. Our old WAY of life is gone. It’s not in charge any more! Our NEW LIFE has begun.

[2 Cor 5:14] nlt

And if we look just a few verses right before that, we’d see verse 14 that says this is all because “Christ’s love controls us.”

I hope you hear me when I say this: The only way we stop being controlled by selfish desires is to be controlled by something else.

[Self control isn’t…]

Because self control ISN’T about trying harder…it isn’t about willpower. Self control is all about WHAT controls us.

And all the gurus and coaches and influencers in the world will tell us that the way we grow our self-control is by taking control of our own lives. So they’ll give you “5 Steps to Fix Your Life…” or “3 Foods to Shrink Your Waist.” or “The Habit-Stacking Method for the Best Morning Routine.”

But when we are talking about the fruit of the Spirit…self-control grows in our life because of God’s transformative work IN US… It’s not about US taking control of our lives, it’s about submitting to the Spirit. It’s about letting GOD lead us and work in us.

[Titus 2:11-12]

I love this reminder from the letter to Titus: “For the GRACE of God…[is what] brings salvation…[and] trains us to [say no to] worldly passions/desires…and to live lives that are SELF-CONTROLLED…”

It’s God’s GRACE that trains us. Self control isn’t about trying harder. It isn’t about self-reliance…self-power. Self control is about spiritual formation.

Self control isn’t something we get “better” at through OUR power or earning. No, we are SHAPED into self-control, we are FORMED in it by walking with Jesus.

And actually, a great example of what this looks like is the life of Daniel. Back in the Old Testament, after God’s people Israel had been in the promised land for hundreds of years, and had chosen to put kings in charge of them, they had fallen away from God over and over again.

And because of the poor leadership of the kings who didn’t follow God, eventually they were overrun by enemies. So Israel was beaten and plundered by Babylon, and the best and brightest Jews were kidnapped to be trained and formed by Babylon.

That way, they could be returned to Israel and installed as puppet governors…or they would be kept in the Babylonian empire as servants of that kingdom.

[Daniel 1:8]

“But Daniel resolved…” He didn’t want to willingly go along with the indoctrination. So maybe this was a strike, or maybe it was a way to prove to the Babylonian rulers that whatever great things that Daniel and his Jewish friends brought to their captors WASN’T because of Babylonian hospitality or training. They were to be set apart.

And at first, the guy in charge of all the kidnapped proteges doesn’t want to go along with it. He’s like, “If you and your friends DON’T eat the rations, and you get all sick and weak and feeble, I’M going to be the one who gets in trouble.

[Daniel 1:11-14]

So Daniel just suggests, “let’s test it for ten days.” And the palace master agrees. So while everyone else who are currently being trained up by the Babylonian captors are being fed choice foods and wine from the royal kitchen, Daniel and his three Jewish friends stick with steamed vegetables and water.

[blank]

And even though this is where the idea of the “Daniel fast” comes from, I don’t think the point was necessarily the type of food. The point was that Daniel and his friends were submitting to trusting GOD to sustain them, not the methods of the Babylonians to bring about their safety and success.

And in the end, the test worked, and the four Israelites prospered. They looked even healthier than the rest and they scored 10x better than everyone else on all the tests for aptitude.

And the story of Daniel continues where he is given more and more responsibility, and the king of Babylon trusts his wisdom more than any of the other advisors. Even though it was probably never in “Daniel’s will” to serve an enemy king or oversee an enemy kingdom…somehow God had a purpose in it.

[Daniel 6:1-5]

And then we get to chapter 6. This is two kings later, and yet Daniel is still prospering and outshining the competition. >>>READ<<<

The others try to attack him based on his faith, because that’s the only thing they *might* be able to exploit in this enemy kingdom.

[Daniel 6:6-9]

READ… And so the satraps set the trap. But that doesn’t stop Daniel.

[Daniel 6:10]

Although Daniel KNEW, he continued…

He sticks with his discipline of prayer to the one true God. And the others who were trying to trap him watch, and then take word back to king Darius.

And they go through this elaborate audience with the king where they are gassing him up and then pretending to just HAPPEN to mention the new law that the king had signed. And then they bring down the hammer and say, “Well…Daniel is ignoring your law and blatantly disobeying you.”

[blank]

And the king sees how he was tricked, but he can’t take back his own law otherwise people will see him as weak. But he’s distressed because he doesn’t want anything to happen to Daniel, but he’s got to go through with the law. Daniel must be thrown in the den of lions.

And many of us know the story of Daniel in the lion’s den from childhood. King Darius has Daniel thrown in the den of lions, but tells him “I hope your God, whom you faithfully serve, saves you!”

And then they shut the cave and leave overnight. And in the morning, king Darius, who has been up all night worried about Daniel, runs to the cave. He knows that there is no rational way that Daniel could have survived, but he still hopes.

And when they get there, they find Daniel perfectly alive and well, with the lions curled up and purring around him. And Darius believes that Daniel was saved by God to vindicate him and prove he had done no wrong. And so the other satraps who had concocted the whole ploy are arrested instead and fed to the lions, who got them and killed them before they even hit the ground.

And then king Darius created a new decree that everyone should worship the God of Daniel, because he is obviously the true God. It’s an incredible story.

But it’s also an incredible look at someone who wasn’t TRYING HARDER to be self-controlled, and he wasn’t working to control any outcomes. He couldn’t! Daniel was truly someone who had no control over his situation.

So he chose to just keep his focus on God through prayer and obedience. Even when pressure grew, he didn’t cave to fear, or anger, or manipulation. He stayed faithful. He stayed connected to God.

Even IN the lion’s den, when it looked like he had lost ALL control, he trusted in the One who is fully in control. The Story of Daniel shows us that in spite of present appearance, God is still in control!

And for us today, reflecting on how to grow in the fruit of self-control, we see that self-control isn’t about self-discipline — it’s about trust.

If we’re willing to trust God, we experience true freedom when we stop trying to exert OUR will on trying to control everything around us and SUBMIT to God’s will.

And Daniel’s example of faithfulness points us forward to the One who had the greatest self-control in history — Jesus.

[“In Jesus” quote]

I found this really great excerpt from a pastor David Mathis from MN:

Christian self-control is not finally about bringing our bodily passions under our own control, but under the control of Christ by the power of his Spirit.

Because self-control is a gift, produced in and through us by God’s Spirit, Christians can and should be the people on the planet most hopeful about growing in self-control. We are, after all, brothers of the most self-controlled man in the history of the world.

All his life he was “without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth” (1 Peter 2:22). He stayed the course even when sweat came like drops of blood (Luke 22:44). He could have called twelve legions of angels (Matthew 26:53), but he had the wherewithal to not rebut the false charges (Matthew 27:14) or defend himself (Luke 23:9). When reviled, he did not revile in return (1 Peter 2:23). They spit in his face and struck him; some slapped him (Matthew 26:67). They scourged him (Matthew 27:26). In every trial and temptation, “he learned obedience through what he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8), and at the pinnacle of his self-control he was “obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). And he is the one who strengthens us (1 Timothy 1:12; Philippians 4:13).

In Jesus, we have a source for true self-control far beyond that of our feeble selves.

Jesus is the perfect model of self-control. And he’s the only source for our self-control. Why? Because he trusted the Father completely. And now his Spirit lives inside us — so we’re not alone in this battle against the flesh!

And this is not just FOR US. Remember last week when Danny taught us that trees don’t eat their own fruit? And how that connects to our lives? Because the fruit of the Spirit isn’t actually for OUR lives, but it’s for the benefit of others that God puts around us.

But HOW do we walk in Spirit-led self-control?

[Self Control 2]

Well, first we remember that Self-control isn’t about trying harder…it’s about becoming more like Jesus through daily surrender. And in order to figure out WHAT we need to surrender, we have to ask, “What’s controlling me?”

Is it my phone that controlling me? Is it my anger or reactivity? Is my spending controlling me? Is it some other coping mechanism?

What are the things that I struggle to have self-control with? Perhaps those are things that are maintaining too much control over me.

[Self Control 3]

Self-control is a gift of the Spirit of God, so for more of it to grow in our lives, we need to draw closer to the Spirit. We need to surrender, because self-control begins with surrender.

And even if it seems rudimentary, the truth is that we grow closer to God, we submit more of our lives to him, by practicing daily surrender through prayer, Scripture, community.

We engage in these spiritual habits so that the Holy Spirit can continue his transforming work in us. So that we don’t continue in the same old patterns of struggling against the flesh.

So here’s our challenge this week: identify ONE area of your life where you need to surrender control this week. What area of your life is commonly a struggle for you?

Maybe it’s your WORDS, because you find that you often just say whatever comes to mind in the moment, even if it’s rash or hurtful, rather than speaking LIFE.

Maybe you find you most struggle with your ANGER, reacting instead of responding.

Maybe God is inviting you to surrender to him in your IMPULSES, whether that’s your eating impulses, your impulsive spending, or your impulsive scrolling and escaping the world by staring at a screen all the time.

Maybe God is inviting you to surrender your FOMO, your overcommitting, where you pack your schedule too full and then you’re running on empty because you’ve said yes to everything.

What do you need to SURRENDER to God this week, because true, Spirit-led self-control isn’t about trying harder – it's about trusting deeper. And it begins with surrender.

[Surrender?]

So where is God inviting you to trust him this week? Is it in a habit of prayer? Is he inviting you to surrender a relationship to him? A bad habit?

You were made for more self-control, and God wants to grow it in you for the benefit of those around us. But the good news is that because of Jesus, we aren’t fighting FOR victory…we’re fighting FROM victory.

Jesus already accomplished the work of defeating the flesh, defeating sin…and his Spirit is working in US to grow the things we were made for.

Without self-control, something else is controlling us. But when we surrender to Jesus, he works in us and transforms us and GIVES US the strength to say NO to things that pull us away from him —

And YES to the life we were made for.

Isn’t that good news?