Clutching at Our Family

Danny Moore   -   March 14, 2023
The more you clutch at sand the more it slips through your fingers.

My wife has a few favorite places and most of them involve a sandy beach. My favorite destinations usually drift towards forests and rocks and trees. But we both agree that if we are going to be near water sandy beaches are best. Soft on the feet, warm on the body. My favorite thing to do while on a sandy beach is scoop up sand with my hand. It’s soothing the way the pile slowly slips from the mound in my hand back to the beach where it was resting a moment before.

Usually if you want to hold on to something, like a rock or a snowball or a toy, it’s best to hold it tight with a closed hand. You don’t want it slipping out and getting lost or losing its shape. But that isn’t so with sand. It won’t be molded or pressed or clutched so long as it’s dry.  Next time you are near sand, try to scoop it up like a snowball. As your fingers draw tightly together you will notice all the sand has slipped through. Hold the sand with your palm up and try to close your fist around it; all the sand will sift between your fingers and wrinkles in your skin and fall back to the ground.

The more you clutch at sand the more it slips through your fingers.

In our Bible lesson this week we explore the idol of family. In Matthew 12 we are told Jesus was speaking to a large crowd when his mother and brothers show up demanding to speak with him.

“Someone told him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’ Matthew 12:47-50 NRSV

 

This feels super harsh when we read it. Especially when Jesus so often raises up women throughout his ministry; even nearing his final breath while hanging on the cross he stops to make sure his mother will be cared for when he dies (John 19:26) But if we compare Matthew’s gospel with Mark’s we can get a clearer picture of why Jesus is saying this. Just before Mark writes a nearly identical story in chapter 3 of his gospel he first writes, 

“…and the crowd came together again, so that [Jesus and his disciples] could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, ‘He has gone out of his mind.’

Jesus, knowing his family wasn’t there to be a part of what God the Father was doing, set a boundary between himself and them. In essence, he says, “Had you come to further the kingdom of God instead of hinder it, I would receive you! But since you come to restrain the work of the Holy Spirit, I do not receive you.” I don’t believe this was an easy thing for Jesus to do. It is obvious throughout the Gospels that Jesus really loves his mother.  And, since one of his brothers is included in the writings of the New Testament, I’m led to believe he had a relationship and an impact on at least one of his brothers. But Jesus at this moment was embarrassing them and making them nervous, perhaps, not doing what they thought he should be doing.

But the more you clutch at sand the more it slips through your fingers. And sand isn’t the only time this happens.

Dave Ramsey points out that with a clenched fist you will probably manage to hold on to the money you have in that fist; but you will never gain a penny more. Oppositely, with an open hand you can gain and give in abundance.

Are you clutching at your family? We could apply this principle to many things, but since family is our idol this week, let’s ask ourselves hard questions about where our hearts are in this regard. 

Are you trying to stuff your spouse or children into a box you made for them that may not be the way God made them? 

Do they have to behave a certain way in public for you to feel safe? or accomplished? or respected by others?

Is it more important to you that your dreams for your family get accomplished when maybe God has other plans for your job? or your spouse’s? or your kids’ college degree or title? 

Are you submitted to His will? Or are you clutching at your own?

Father God, lead us in your will; teach us your ways; help us to relinquish the mirage that we are in control; help us to realize the joy of surrendering to You and trusting in You. Help us to steward everything that you have given us as you would have it done (on Earth, as it is in Heaven.) All to the glory of your Holy Name. Amen.